The subtle art of not giving a fuck: a counterintuitive approach to living a good life by Mark Manson; as its name suggests is an unconventional book where Mark shares his approach to defining life’s values in terms of “giving a fuck”.
- Layer 1
- Simple understanding of one’s emotional states.
- Layer 2
- Emotional blind spots.
- Layer 3
- Ability to ask why we feel emotions. (For root cause analysis)
- Layer 4
- Personal values - why do I consider this success or failure. How am I measuring it. By which standard am I using to judge myself and others.
- Taking responsibility for everything that occurs in your life, regardless of who’s at fault.
- The acknowledgement of your own ignorance and the cultivation of constant doubt in your own beliefs.
- The willingness to discover your own flaws and mistakes so that they may be improved upon.
- The ability to both say and hear no, thus clearly defining what you will and will not accept in your life.
- Contemplation of one’s own mortality.
- Material success
- Always being right
- Staying positive
These are side effects of good values. But bad values on their own - they are highs.
Self-improvement is essentially prioritising values and choosing better values and things to give a fuck about.
Better “fucks”, produces better problems; and better problems, means a better life.
1 - reality based
2 - socially constructive
3 - immediate and controllable
1 - superstitious
2 - socially destructive
3 - not immediate or controllable
Bad values are generally reliant on external events
Popularity is an example of a bad value as its out of your control
The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. Therefore, we should not “find ourselves”; Because, once we find ourselves (or define ourselves) we will avoid anything that will affect or change our identity.
- What if I’m wrong?
- What would it mean if I were wrong?
- Would being wrong create a better or a worse problem than my current problem, for both myself and others?
Action > Inspiration > Motivation
Unconditional love is not giving a fuck about everything your partner gives a fuck about; but giving a fuck about your partner regardless of the fucks he or she gives.
Trust is like a china plate: the more times it’s broken, the harder it becomes to put back together, and there’s a point where it’s impossible to put back together.
- Use of coarse language
- If the title of the book does not already give it away. Mark uses the F word a lot.
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